If I were dead, I wouldn't be able to see.
If I were dead, I wouldn't be able to feel.
If I were dead, he'd never raise his hand to me again.
If I were dead, his words wouldn't cut as deep as they do.
If I were dead, I'd be beautiful and I wouldn't be so...ugly.
I'm not dead...but I wish I was.
*This is a dark YA/NA stand-alone, full-length novel, which comes with a warning for triggers. Please do not read if abuse of any kind disturbs you.
This was a heart-wrenching trainwreck. I could see the horrible things that were going to happen to poor Lily from the first page and there was no way of stopping it, and in that regard it killed me. This was very blunt and very explicit, and a sign of strong story telling.
Though I didn't particularly race through this book, I found myself often unable to look away and resultantly stayed up half the night to finish it. I loved how blunt and unforgiving this was, how matter-of-fact the telling of all the events was.
However, this book was often much slower than it needed to be. Instead of summarizing a scene or conversation, every tiny little detail was played out, and a lot of these didn't add to the story. It was then surprising that multiple years were skipped with a lack of detail.
The tone also often felt very jilted. This worked really well for the first half of the book; however, I expected that as Lily evolved, her tone would as well and the writing would be a bit more smooth. Especially considering the field Lily works in, I expected her to have very flowing prose, but this wasn't the case.
I was also surprised in the second half of the book by how easily resolved many things were. This wasn't necessarily a bad thing; however, I felt like it had a chance to make an already impactful punch even stronger, but it was missed.
I'm not really sure if I'd peg this as young adult. It's written in a style accessible to younger reader's, but a lot of the book is about an adult, and a lot of it has very different themes to the young adult canon.
Definitely if you're easily triggered be careful with this. Otherwise, I highly recommend this as a touching look into the type of life many may live without us knowing.
I received a free copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
This isn't listed on Amazon yet, but is supposedly slated for a 10/26 release.